why clumsy cartwheels?

Well, because clumsy cartwheels are a metaphor for my life.

Growing up I took gymnastics for a few years. I loved it, but alas, I was never very good. I would sit and watch as the other girls would run and flip with straight legs and pointed toes--graceful perfection wrapped in nine-year-old bodies. Me, on the other hand? Well, I would take off running and then...start to over-think. "Should I go now?" "Am I going fast enough?" "Which foot to take off from?" "Remember to point my toes." In the end, my cartwheels would be a rather sloppy mess.

But you know what? I loved cartwheeling. Taking off running as fast as you can. The feeling of your feet leaving the ground and inertia taking over. The point of no return once you start putting your hands toward the ground. Watching the room spin upside down and back again in the blink of an eye. Landing safely (albeit ugly-looking) on your own two feet with a face red from the effort.

In gymnastics--I knew what I was capable of doing. I had a teacher who had helped me practice. In fact, sometimes I could even do a perfect cartwheel. Oh the feeling! It was--well, pretty much the same as a clumsy cartwheel--it just looked better to the observer.


Sometimes it feels like my days are simply more clumsy cartwheels one right after the other. I get these ideas in my head of what I should be doing (be it for the day or for a bigger "life project"). I will start out all gung-ho, running and excited until I start to think about all of the things that could go wrong, obstacles that might arise, or my own inadequacies. Often, I will abort my mission when these thoughts become too much.


Some days my cartwheels are perfect, most of the time, not. But here's the thing I'm learning...even if it's not perfectly executed, life is a whole lot more exciting if I just go for it.

Clumsy or not--cartwheels are fun.